The paper is theoretical, patient centred, and focuses on the two following questions: (1) In what way might a stress theoretical approach further our understanding of how helping can affect somatic and psychological processes in patients, and (2) in what way might stress theory offer action oriented guidelines for those who offer help ? A stress model is outlined involving relationships between a patient's cognitive appraisal of a given care situation, his or her coping efforts, and emotional and physiological reactions. Several conditions, related to the patient and to the care giving situation, which might influence the patient's appraisal process are discussed. Possible short- and long-term effects of helping in the somatic and psychological domains are presented. Two examples of common care situations are analysed to show how stress theory may offer helpers an action oriented tool. The concept of participatory caring, implying not only patient involvement but actual power sharing between patients and health professionals, is discussed.